The Two Ls: Liability and Legality

This piece is intended as a satirical look at the kind of conversations that could happen between truly empowered women in our society. I've followed this scene with the transcript of the Sex and the City scene that it is based on. I'm considering fleshing it out, not really as a play or screenplay, but just using the format as a style choice. Let me know what you think, this is a very rough draft, I just wanted some feedback.

I should add that although I've obviously cribbed from existing material and persona both real and fictional, that no copyright infringement is intended. I've taken dramatic license with all of these elements, so obviously nothing herein should be considered as representative of any actual individuals or the creators of any fictional characters.




Dramatis Personae

Samantha: Pixie haired, balls to the wall, take no prisoners detective for the NYC SVU. Noted as a bit of a loose cannon renegade.

Charlotte: Petite redheaded special agent for the FBI in the under the radar X-files division, also a pathologist, Roman Catholic, noted skeptic.

Carrie: gracefully aging Senator and former first lady, was a front runner for the democratic presidential nomination, now returning to Senate work

Miranda: Silver haired and as spunky as she is professional, a celebrated newswoman, renowned for her genuine and candid, yet hard hitting interview style.


Int coffee shop:
(we find the ladies mid conversation)
Miranda: so I start the interview with your basic questions about his image, with a little nudge about toward the media's been treating his personal life.

Samantha: I'm more concerned with how they've been treating his wife.

Carrie: trust me ladies, there's no way to control that kind of thing, they've just gotta spin it to be about something else entirely. make it about his opponent's religious alliances.

Charlotte: But those alliances are not what they're made out to be, would engaging those same tactics really help to further anything positive in the long run?

Samantha: If it means he's reelected and can do what he hopes to do for his constituants, I think he's entitled to use whatever tactics get the job done.

Miranda: (with a snort) Clarence Darrow, ““Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; Justice is what comes out of a courtroom”

Carrie: (dryly) I think you used that quote during Big's impeachment hearing.

(Samantha fiddles with her napkin)

Samantha: I may have to deal with just that issue when I testify before the grand jury this week.

Miranda: So you're seriously considering going into court and committing perjury?

Samantha: Look, in my experience the law only goes so far and in some cases you have to let your own conscience guide you above and beyond some of the technicalities of in the legal system if you want to be able to sleep at night.

Miranda: Doesn't that go against what you stand for as a law enforcement officer?

Samantha: No, it goes against what I stand for to let a pedophile walk free when I know that I can make certain that he's put away and can't hurt any more children.

Charlotte: But isn't it a slippery slope to perjure yourself in one trial? It could call into question a lot of verdicts if you were found out.

Carrie: (muttered aside) If they were legit to begin with...

Samantha: (snaps) I know that I catch the bad guys and see them rot behind bars, and for me that's the bottom line!

Carrie: (apologetically) I understand Samantha, and at times I wish I could communicate my beliefs with your level of genuine passion and commitment, I can't even get Americans stirred up about improving their health care.

Samantha: Oh I get it. Look, I know you're passionate about health care reform, do you think it's maybe your program that you're having a hard time standing behind?

Miranda: Wait, are you thinking of rewriting the bill? retooling your plan?

Carrie: No, no, no. I believe in it, I just don't know how I'm going to present it in this press conference Tuesday.

Charlotte: Carrie, I think you already know the answer to that question.

Carrie: I know that the family of the boy is willing but I'm hesitant to go in that direction.

Charlotte: Do you know what I see in hospitals around the country in the course of my work?

Carrie: I'm aware of the horrific scenarios patients and doctors face every day, I just worry that by using a specific case I may send the wrong message.

Charlotte: Maybe hold the press conference in the health care facility, let the public see firsthand some of the issues you're addressing.

Carrie: I'm a politician, not a doctor, I'm concerned the public might be resentful if I stand in a hospital next to a sick boy in order to sell a bill.

Charlotte: But what is the difference between using a patient's story to sell health care and using a 9/11 fire fighter's story told from Ground Zero to sell the need for security?

Carrie: Was that tasteless grandstanding too, is that what I've become in the last 10 years?

Charlotte: That's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying that putting a human face on the issues can be very effective. I know that the FBI was forced to take abductions by our government or the aliens or whoever more seriously when they had to look me in the eye and know they'd given me cancer.

Miranda: Have we ever discussed you doing an interview with me?

(Charlotte rolls eyes)

Carrie: I just don't want to exploit this little boy in a political context.

Charlotte: But you'd be doing it to champion his cause.

Carrie: But it would still be political.

Miranda: You're a politician.

Carrie: Exactly, I don't want my constituents to see me as a talking head willing to take the chance on exploiting one of the most helpless of the people that she's representing.

Samantha: Who gives a fuck if you get the votes next time around if you actually manage to get some health care reform enacted in THIS term?

Carrie: I think that may just be what it comes down to.

Samantha: I'd do it in heart beat

Charlotte: So would I.

(miranda remains silent staring at her coffee)

Carrie: What do you think oh voice of experience?





Source scene from Sex and the City 4x02 "The Real Me"


INT. COFFEE SHOP


Miranda: I'll start with a salad with extra blue-cheese dressing, thank you.

Samantha: Are the vegetables on the veggie plate organic?

Carrie: They have beef potpie on the menu, what do you think?

Samantha: I'll just have a cup of hot water with lemon, thank you.

Charlotte: Isn't it hard to eat just organic all the time?

Samantha: Oh, it is so hard, last night I could not stop thinking about a BigMac. I finally had to get dressed go out and pick up a guy.

Miranda: Talk about a happy meal.

Carrie: Well, lady, you have never looked better, you're body is amazing.

Samantha: Wow, I hope so. I'm having nude photographs taken on Wednesday.

Miranda: What are you going to do, have post-cards made out to hand out to prospective dates?

Samantha: This is not about a man's approval. This photo is just for me so when I'm old and my tits are in my shoes I can look at it and say "Damn, I was hot."

Miranda: Isn't that a little narcissistic.

Samantha: No one thinks its narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

Charlotte: You weren't naked in that!

Carrie: That we know of.

Samantha: Look, I like my body, I'm getting these pictures taken what's the big problem?

Carrie: No, problem. You are my hero. I think it's fantastic that you can just put it out there.

Carrie: I can't even say yes to being in some charity fashion show.

Samantha: New York style? You were asked to be part of that? That's huge! All the top designers are doing it.

Miranda: Wait, they want you to be a model?

Carrie: No, no, no. It's a mix of real people and models, I know the producer.

Charlotte: Carrie, you have to do it, you live for fashion.

Carrie: I do not live for fashion.

Charlotte: How many fashion shows did you drag me to during fashion week?

Carrie: Eight, what's your point?

Charlotte: Why are you turning down the chance to actually be in one.

Carrie: I do not belong on a runway, runways are for models not writers.

Charlotte: What's the difference between strutting down a runway and the way you strut down Fifth Avenue?

Carrie: Strut? Do I strut? Am I a strutter?

Charlotte: I think it'll be fun. I was a teen model when the Ralph Lauren store opened in Newhaven.

Miranda: Ok it's amazing I was able to keep my lunch down just now.

Carrie: I just... I cannot imagine walking down a runway where all the people sit there and judge me.

Charlotte: No one would judge you.

Carrie: We judge models all the time.

Miranda: But, you're not a model you're one of the real people.

Carrie: Exactly and I don't want people to think that I can't see the difference between a model and me.

Samantha: Who gives a fuck what people think, this is a fabulous opportunity. Honey, you'll probably get to keep the clothes.

Carrie: I thought of that!

Samantha: I'd do it in a New York minute

Charlotte: so would I.

Carrie: What do you think, mutey?